I’m having a blast working with men and women right now, applying Honor to their relationships. I’m taking some of the work I deliver in my boot camps and other trainings, and packaging it specifically for people in romantic relationships. In my view, Honor is a “miracle cure.”
FOR MEN: Honor Her (The page is a bit too sales-y, but we’re just getting started.
FOR WOMEN: Honoring My Man
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I’ve recently taken some of the “ninja-level” relationship work I do with change agents, and have pared it down to simple, common sense advice for men, who are having challenges in relationship with a woman they love. Here’s what I’m telling them: “Be the Pig.” Yeah, it’s a bit silly, but it makes all the difference when it comes to being able to turn a relationship around (and it’s a memerable cue that helps in the moment when it counts). I recently put on a 60+ minute tele-seminar on this subject, then posted the audio on-line. You can listen here.
Wealth Warrior was a term I created in the mid-90’s. It’s an idea.
A Wealth Warrior is a modern-day man who lives by his own code of Honor and creates wealth–not wealth as defined by the world, but as defined by himself. Wealth is “an abundance of values” and a Wealth Warrior chooses what his values are, rather than accepting the values that society conditions us to have. Two of the highest values a Wealth Warrior always has are Honor and Self-Mastery.
For my adult life, I’ve lived far more to gain Honor and Self-Mastery than I have to gain money or material wealth. Those who don’t understand my values being what they are, are surprised that I am not more financially successful yet than I am. I don’t drive a nice car or live in a nice house. I’m not making millions with my business yet.
Time and again, I’ve sacrificed financially to attain greater honor and self-mastery. What I have to show for living my life by these values thus far is not money or material wealth, but 1) programs and methodologies that deeply impact people’s lives and relationships (the work is based on Honor, and is what I’ve learned as I’ve lived my life), 2) an incredible ability to work with people in a way that produces lasting breakthroughts, 3) deeply intimate and loving relationships with family and many others (as living my work in my life is a natural result of pursuing honor and self-mastery), 4) a sense of Honor, confidence, courage, freedom and self-direction that defies the follower conditioning and training a young person receives in this world, and 5) a life of incredible excitement and adventure designed by me for me.
But my life has also been guided by the conditioned value of Image.
And this is perhaps the greatest challenge modern man faces: to live by his own Honor and Inner Guidance, rather than being swayed by image (desire for pride, fear of shame/embarrassment, desire for approval and respect, fear of rejection, etc.). As much as many of us like to tell anyone who will listen, “I don’t care what others think,” our mind manages our image/ego whether we know it or not. In fact, I’d say that image is the Primary Value of our conditioned minds, and we’ve been trained to compromise our honor and our other values when our image is at risk.
Promoting and maintaining a certain image is integrated into the culture of Western business. Advertising, marketing, positioning, branding–it’s all about creating and maintaining a certain image. And if you can do it right, you get paid very well.
Advertising also drives us to spend the money we earn on what we do. We want to be accepted, respected, desired–or viewed as sexy, wealthy, powerful, etc.
Everywhere we turn, we’re managing image. Trying to look good so we can get the girl, get the job, avoid being laughed at, etc.
I loved the term Wealth Warrior, when I created it, and I got a great sense of pride from using it. It made me look good, and it was a great name for marketing. But over the years, the term generated a lot of criticism from people in whose eyes I wanted to look good. And for largely the past several years, I’ve left the term behind, in favor of terms that appealed more to the people I considered to be more “enlightened,” conscious, sophisticated, etc.
Not using the term Wealth Warrior protected my image in the new social circles I found myself in, and it also was received better by my new chosen markets–and was in this way better for business.
Only later did I come to fully realize that the judgments my new friends and customers had about the term Wealth Warrior was preventing them from receiving the two greatest invitations I have to offer the world: honor and entrepreneurship. People who react to the term Wealth Warrior tend to also cut themselves off from many of the benefits that could be theirs, if they transcended their judgments.
But I am not bringing Wealth Warrior back so that these people can transcend their judgments. I’m bringing it back to serve men like myself, who want to be the best men we can be, and live by honor, creating wealth in the 21st century–without being limited by the judgments of the world.
Bringing Wealth Warrior back does not mean I am giving up any of my other projects or programs. It’s simply a way of honoring myself, my creations and the value that those creations can give to millions of people.
Wanting to be respected for my ideas has largely been an image concern for me over the years, and has had me make choices to project and maintain a certain image. This has led in many ways to compromises of my own honor, and has inhibited my financial life–especially when I turned away from the Wealth Warrior business and projects I was working on in favor of VisionForce and my new work.
Not only was I consciously choosing to honor my values of Honor and Self-Mastery, I was unconsciously guided by the conditioned value of maintaining my image–and consciously aiming to manage Image for business purposes.
A better way to transition would have been to fully establish the Wealth Warrior business and product line, and then create a new business, VisionForce, to serve the new markets I wanted to reach.
I have taken big risks with my image and reputation time and again, but in the business world, risking one’s image in certain ways can be a major liability. My personal journey has had me “evolving in the public eye” as I’ve openly shared a lot of my short-comings, failures, doubts, mistakes and more, as I build my business.
Only recently is our business culture coming to appreciate the level of transparency that I’ve come to live with (I’ve learned to let go of my image so much that I embarrass friends and family and am deemed rude or inconsiderate, because I won’t pay much attention to societal norms that maintain people’s images).
The internet is getting us accustomed to letting go of professional images, and having people get to see who we are in our personal lives.
And I’m throwing Image to the wind now, as I not only bring Wealth Warrior back, but do so via LIVE VIDEO webcasts… coming very soon! Check out the Flying Pig Phenomenon.
As an entreprener, an implicit measurement of my success, my ability, my skill, my value, is the number of dollars in my bank accounts. And what has caused me distress at times over the last several years is this measurement. This, eventhough my internal measurements were never the same. Sure, I’ve often set financial goals, but as I look at my values in terms of what was driving me, I can see it was never about an accumulation of dollars in the bank account.
I’ve measured myself in terms of the quality of my life’s work, my technology, my art, my ideas. Like the artist who is content to make enough to pay the rent, so as not to compromise his art, his development of mastery over his subject and his commitment to his spiritual path, I’ve lived an existence that reflects an indifference to money. At Harv Ecker’s Millionaire Mind Intensive last November, I best fit into the group labeled “Money Monks.”
But now, as financial pressures mount and relationships are burdened by financial agreements, and I continue to take a few months on a sabbatical of sorts, the reflection I often see is one of a failed or failing entrepreneur. To operate from this implicit measurement and to allow this reflection to be in the background, is to bring dishonor to this being, this man, who has been standing for something, who has been being true to a vision and an understanding in the face of a world and even close loved ones and allies, who’ve not fully seen or understood.
What are the invisible, implicit standards we allow ourselves to be measured by? What are the unconscious allegiences we’ve made? “I pledge allegience to the flag…” Allegience is “is a true and faithful obedience of the subject due to his Sovereign.” I am sovereign. I am a sovereign being, a sovereign man. John McCain would have me be inspired to put “Country First.” And while there’s honor in that path, is it not time we question to what we owe our allegience? My country is certainly not first in my list of values. And just as I refuse to measure myself by McCain’s standard, I refuse to measure myself as a man by a financial standard right now. I refuse to judge myself for the amount of dollars (or lack their of) in my bank accounts.
The time will come when my art is appreciated by the masses. I may choose to package it for them in order to speed that process up, and I may not. If I choose not to, I still have the Artist’s way as my path of honor. It is the artist’s way that has allowed me to develop gifts that are so valuable in the first place. I honor my past allegiance to that path. It was chosen. It was a stand to be true to my mind, my heart, my life, my self. And it was a stand to bring the value that I saw people were desperately needing, even if they did not understand what they were needing. Had they understood what they were needing, I’d be very financially wealthy by now. They haven’t yet. And I refuse to compromise the value I’m adding simply because I’ve not yet created communication pathways that present what people want while providing what they desperately need.
It’s a matter of marketing. It’s a matter of business modeling. And these, too, are art forms. Art forms with which I love to play and create. Everything in it’s own time. As I soak in my surroundings here in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, I’m now inviting in a longer term perspective to my art and my business. The perspective of the farmer. None of my uncles and grandfathers built their personal fortunes to the tune of multi-millions of dollars overnight–or in a few short years. Many have arrived at where they are now in their 50s, 60s and beyond with networths in the 10s of millions, but they were regular men, who woke up, put on their pants, and went to work every day. And there is great honor in their path. It’s the farmer’s way. The independent man’s way. The traditional American way.
I now invite them and their wisdom into my life. I seek now elders in my life. I need not prove to anyone that I don’t need anyone–that I don’t need them. Wow, I really see, how this has been part of my context. “Fuck my extended family, I’m going to do this all on my own.” That has been somewhat in the background…
And now I must leave to accompany an elder I’ve just invited into my life to a school board meeting here in Cedar Rapids, where he is a leader in the rebuilding efforts. How appropriate that I get to be here now, follow in his footsteps, feel his life force, learn his ways. He is a free man. He is an American, in the greatest sense. He is a rebel. He is a community member. He is an entrepeneur. He is an artisan. He is my father, my uncle, my grandfather, my brother.
And I am he.
on occasion, i receive politically oriented emails, such as the one that follows. it is anti-obama, because he is not viewed as “patriotic” enough and does not support the war. we’re all doomed if we can’t rise above this level of consciousness. my comments follow the email:
Are we fighting a war on terror or aren’t we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?
Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation’s capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?
Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn’t they?
And I’m supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was ‘desecrated’ when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?…Well, I don’t. I don’t care at all.
I’ll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.
I’ll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia
I’ll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for chopping off Nick Berg’s head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.
I’ll care when the cowardly so-called ‘insurgents’ in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.
I’ll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide .
I’ll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution’s Bill of Rights.
In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don’t care.
When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don’t care.
When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don’t care..
When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed ’special’ food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being ‘mishandled,’ you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don’t care.
And oh, by the way, I’ve noticed that sometimes it’s spelled ‘Koran’ and other times ‘Quran.’ Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don’t care !!
If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it’ll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!
If you don’t agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don’t complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:
‘Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don’t have that problem’ — Ronald Reagan
I have another quote that I would like to add AND…….I hope you forward all this.
‘If we ever forget that we’re One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.’ Also by.. Ronald Reagan
One last thought for the day:
In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England ’s Prime Minister Tony Blair’s words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said: ‘A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.’
The last thing, by the way, that we should do is to elect as President of the United States, someone who claims to love America yet, WILL NOT salute the flag, WILL NOT pledge allegiance to our flag, and sat in a church listening to a ‘pastor’ that HATES America! Are you Freakin’ kidding me?
Only one defining force has ever offered to die for you: The American G.I. . . . and they died for your freedom.
i’m sure the people forwarding such emails want to see justice and peace prevail…
however, is this not the kind of attitude is what has the world going to hell in a handbasket via endless cycles of violence, anger, retaliation?
if we can’t rise above our own grief, anger, frustration and sadness then aren’t we all doomed? won’t nuclear, biological and chemical weapons on the open market continue to find their way into the hands of people blinded by the righteous rage displayed in this email? is the same righteous rage not displayed by the terrorists?
if we, living in a land of relative freedom, education, peace and prosperity can’t be the ones to rise above this level of victim-retaliation consciousness, then are we not all doomed? do we really think we can can “win the war on terror” via anger-inspired violence? before hi tech weapons and communication devices existed, it was possible to defeat the “evil” enemy, but now?
it won’t be easy… but can we afford to respond to 9/11 with the same level of consciousness that created it?
there are new and better ways to create the world we all desire–even if they are not immediately obvious.
standing with all of you for peace, life, freedom and prosperity
I’ve lived the past few years of my life caged with ideas about who I must be… given the kind of work I do. The VisionForce work goes deep, and awakens people’s hearts and minds at a profound level, resulting in many people having what they’d call “spiritual experiences.” Many have placed me in the category of Spiritual Teacher, and then measure me by who they think a spiritual teacher should and should not be.
I never set out to be a spiritual teacher, and I don’t regard myself that way. People do have every right to hold my life, relationships and organization to very high standards, and I invite that. However, it’s taking me months to unravel the threads of expectations others have of me that I’ve taken on as my own.
What if my professional work and my organization were a reflection of who I am and what makes me most happy? What if I fully surrendered my ideas of who I should be and what my business should look like–surrendered them to God? Not to an external being, but to… destiny. That’s not the right word. What if I simply relaxed into the flow of what speaks to my heart, to what moves me, to what lights me up personally?
I’m fortunate enough to have many close allies, who are much like spiritual teachers to me, who’ve been encouraging me to journey further down this path. It’s ironic… for this is really what lies at the heart of my work: being true to one’s self. It’s integrity.
Having integrity in relationships and in business is that much more difficult, I am realizing, when there are misalignments with my integrity with my self. It’s that much harder to maintain external integrity, when it’s missing within. And then maintaining external integrity can feel like a burden, a chore, a duty–rather than a natural expression of truth and integrity.
Buckminster Fuller’s thoughts on integrity impacted me deeply when I attended Money & You a few weeks back… I highly recommend the course. (Interested parties should contact me, as I might be able to work out something special)
The rebuilding of the MichaelSkye.com site is an expression of me turning back inward to honor myself, to be true to myself, to stand for my own happiness. I’m excited to build my life again… I’ve got an amazing life right now, but it’s mostly an expression of my service to the world and to others with little sign of Michael Skye, the individual, the person, the man with a personal life… a man who travels, plays, explores this beautiful world.